too much to learn

why is this so stressful
declaring your future on a thin piece of paper
what a silly ritual.
why cant i study the world
why cant my future be on trains
be sounds of drums
the study of microbes
why can't i have it all?
i just want to learn, go on adventures, laugh,
i want to feel good. i want you to feel good.
i want to fill my mind with names of healing herbs
but i dont want to know what kind of molecule makes this element. and moles? no no no. 
i want to grow carrots, radishes, apples, olives
i want to have goats and cows. i want to put my hands in the earth i want to play on city trains and take pictures of old people walking in the snow.
ahhhhh.
why can i only have one? why do we pay so much for this stress