Clarity

“And how could we endure to live and let time pass if we were always crying for one day or one year to come back-if we did not know that every day in a life fills the whole life with expectation and memory and that these are that day?” 
― C.S. Lewis, Out of the Silent Planet

December 12, 2012.

About once a year I go back to the beginning of this blog and I read. and I cry. And a flood of emotions returns to me - all of you return to me. I miss your smells. All of you. Even the ones that don't think so. I miss the laughing and the learning together. I don't know how everything got so far away from that but I'm glad it existed. I'm glad I have those parts of my heart and that I can feel it again, even if it's fleeting. I so wish I could smush against you right now. I wish I knew then what I knew now. Just for a second; Deja Vu from the future. Love is painful and perfect.